Week one of my taper is a thing of the past and if I’m honest I can’t say I’m particularly looking forward to weeks two and three. All of which is a 180 degree change in direction to how eagerly I was anticipating my taper period.

The problem I guess is that I don’t trust myself. I prevaricate on an hourly basis between being convinced that I have done enough training, and being 100% sure that I am so undertrained I will fail to complete even half of the cycle leg. This apparently is classic taper madness.

 Sitting at home on a Sunday with the prospect of a mere 18km run to keep the legs ticking over was pure torture. I wanted to do at least 30km but knew that if I did my wife would be on the phone to coach Claire and my life would be made a hell of SMS messages and an e-mail box containing lots of exclamation marks and capital letters. (Note how I am more scared of my coach than my wife)

 The good thing about my taper is that because I am doing less distance I can start my Tuesday and Thursday morning rides at 5:00am instead of 4:30. And I’ll tell you something strange that I have noticed that happens at such an hour. The suburbs are clouded by the overwhelming odour of the reek of women’s perfume.

There must be gallons of the stuffed poured over the female form every morning and half of it ends up evaporating into the air, wafting out of open windows and polluting my lungs. It’s actually nauseating and really is such a huge waste of money.

Surely a good old fashioned shower and some deodorant would solve the problem far easier and for far less money. Makeup as a masking technique for physical flaws I can understand, but really ladies, when you walk into my office reeking of Eau de Brothel, my immediate instinct is to assume you haven’t showered lately.

Anyway, two weeks from today I will be sitting in Port Elizabeth and IronMan 2009, the one thing in my life about which I have allowed myself to obsess this past year, will be over. Will I be happy or will I be sad? I don’t know but I know that I am going to give it horns.